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Top Ten Ways to Revitalize Your Resolutions
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So how are those resolutions and change efforts of yours coming along?
In the first week of the New Year, I notice that many of my clients and family members are eager to get started on their New Year’s Resolutions. Shortly thereafter, most people veer off course in the normal ebb and flow of life circumstances.
When we go to make a change, we are filled with enthusiasm for the promise of the new life we want to have. We are convinced that this time our change efforts will be different. We WILL follow through on our resolutions and make the changes we want to make.
We all know that doesn't always happen. It can take as little as 3 weeks for your enthusiasm for change to start heading downhill. Studies show that it takes about 5 years of having a resolution on your list before it actually gets accomplished. This year learn to manage your energy better so that you can do what you say you want to do.
Coax success with these strategies to bring your resolutions and change efforts from wishes to dreams come true.
1. Anchor your resolutions and change efforts in your values, vision, and purpose.
Don't simply declare that you are going to exercise. Spend some time integrating exercise with your values. Ask yourself how exercise will be a part of your vision for your life and how it will act to serve your purpose in the world.
When it comes time to exercise instead of just thinking how much you would rather be doing something else you can connect with your internal motivation by realizing that (for example) exercise will enable you to be an active grandparent to your grandchildren for a longer time.
2. Make room for what you want to do.
We all have busy and full lives. Very few of us have big open spaces in our schedules just waiting for us to find something to put there.
When you add something to your life, you must make room for it by eliminating something else. If you want to make time for exercise you can not just sleep less, skip a meal or hurry up that one on one time with your son.
Making space and time does not mean cramming more into less time. Everything has a natural ebb and flow to it. You can only speed up things to a certain pace before they snap back and demand their natural pace - sabotaging you into taking the break you must have.
Instead, eliminate activities and responsibilities that no longer serve you and put in those things that support your dreams.
3. Begin where you are.
Maybe you want to start attending your children’s sports activities but it's late - if you leave now the game will be almost over when you get there.
Go anyway.
Don’t wait for the perfect time or the perfect place or the perfect mood. You don’t have to start your new life on a Monday. If you have missed every day but today, start today.
Forward movement begets more forward movement. Going anyway begins the momentum you need to keep pulling you forward.
4. Stretch yourself - but not too much.
Make your resolution a bit of a stretch but close enough to where you are to be achievable. Don't resolve to do something you know you won't do.
If you want to become a reader of happenings in your field don’t commit yourself to reading every day or to reading all of the top journals. Start closer to where you are. If you are not reading at all commit to reading 1 day a week and choose only 1 journal to read (and make sure it interests you).
Be at least 75% sure that you can make the change. You can always build on your success and do more later if you want.
5. Get your supplies together.
If you want to journal daily, don’t be distracted collecting your writing supplies every day. Put everything that you will need in one place and keep it there. Make it easy to focus on the task at hand.
A little forethought will enable you to carry through to completion without delays, distractions, or unnecessary running around.
6. Build positive emotions and moods.
Negative emotions and moods engender withdrawal and constriction. They help us to fight, flee or protect ourselves. Negative emotions and mood also restrict and lessen your energy -- not a great supportive environment for making changes and exploring new things.
Positive emotions and moods "build and broaden." They build capital for creativity, growth and development and more exploration and discovery -- a better and more conducive environment for successful change.
Positive affective states undo negative affective states and give us more energy for new ideas and experiences. Positive affective states are the fertile ground for more successful interactions and achievements. Build an upward spiral of positive emotions by practicing appreciation, gratitude, and forgiveness. Savor your pleasures and mindfully create fun in your day.
7. Take small steps
Break down your resolutions and change efforts into small enough steps so that you are not totally overwhelmed with the whole task at once.
If you have made a resolution to clean out your attic, but it's just too much - break the task down. One month clean out the holiday decorations. The next month go through the old clothes, etc.
No matter how great your resistance you can always find some small step that you are willing to start with.
8. Look at what you want to do rather than what you don’t want to do.
Define your change effort as something that you want to do rather than something you want to stop doing. Positively framed goals are more often reached than negatively framed goals.
If you want to stop eating junk food then have your resolution be to learn about healthy eating and to eat more healthy meals. Saying you will eat 2 cups of delicious vegetables a day will move you closer to giving up junk food than focusing on not eating junk food.
9. Implement a follow through strategy
Many times, we don’t make changes until things get serious and our survival is threatened. Our brains are hard wired to be alert for the things that are threatening to us right now. We are not really hard wired for taking a preventive approach.
To override this natural tendency you can trick your brain into following through more naturally. In their book, Following Through: a Revolutionary New Method for Finishing Whatever You Start, Steve Levinson and Pete Greider outline several amazingly effective follow through strategies. My favorite is called "Leading the Horse to Water," As Levinson and Greider explain it - you can’t make a horse drink water if he is not thirsty. But put the horse where the water is and he is more likely to drink it.
Here is how I use the strategy: I have made a resolution to walk every day. Many days I just don't feel like it or I feel that there are more important things I should be doing. On those days, I make a deal with myself that I don’t have to walk if I don’t want to - but I DO have to put on my walking shoes. Strangely, once I get my walking shoes on I have no problem following through with the walk.
10. Keep trying.
Change does not happen overnight. There are powerful physiological and psychological processes that are set to keep you like you are. They keep drawing you back to your current baseline.
Forget that 21 days to a new habit idea. It takes 3-6 months of consistent daily practice to rewire the enzymatic pathways in your brain so that your new habit becomes natural for you. If you don't give up it WILL happen. If that change is something you really want to make happen keep at it again and again until it does.
Keep at it!
Life Inventory
Are You Ready for a Change?
Every living system has strong forces that drive it to maintain the status quo. Change - even positive and long sought after change - is seen as a threat to the survival of the system and is countered with powerful feedback intended to sabotage the change agent.
In order for a resolution to be successful it must be implemented in a planned and controlled design and continuously monitored and supported.
Take a moment to think about your answers to the following questions. Be sure to answer with what is true for you now, rather than what you think is the right answer. It may be insightful to contemplate any disparity between the two.
Do you have the resources and commitment to confront your natural and inherent resistance to change and to stay the course during the implementation of your resolution?
What do you feel will be the easiest step you could take in fulfillment of your resolution?
What do you feel will be the most difficult part?
What are your expectations?
Do you have any reservations?
Do you have sufficient knowledge, support and desire to affect the changes you want?
Do you have the resilience to stick it out and follow through until you get the results you want?
What is the exact result you hope to achieve and how will you know when you have achieved it?
There are reasons why the changes you make are only temporary or you tend to stay in the patterns you are in. Just because a desired shift appears simple does not mean it is easy to bring about.
If you need help implementing these ideas, consider Personal Coaching, and I will be right with you every step of the way.
If you find that you don't have the resources for change, contact me to see how you can better manage your energy and resources. I have lots of experience and tools to guide you toward being the person you want to be living the life you want to live. Call 434-263-4996 or email.
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© Copyright 1997 - 2008 by Mary Ann Copson and Evenstar. All rights reserved.
About the Author:
Mary Ann Copson is the founder of the Evenstar Mood & Energy Wellness Center for Women. With Master's Degrees in Human Development and Psychology and Counseling, Mary Ann is a Certified Licensed Nutritionist; Certified Holistic Health Practitioner; Brain Chemistry Profile Clinician; and a Health, Wellness and Lifestyle Coach. Reconnect to your physical, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual natural rhythms at
http://evenstaronline.com
