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Recommended Reading

Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton.

For way too long, we as a culture have focused on fixing our weaknesses as the way to happiness and success. For the most part, our personal development programs highlight what we are doing wrong and direct us to find ways to do it right. Psychology studies depression in order to tell us how to be happy. Medicine studies sickness in order to tell us how to be well.

Unfortunately, this is a strategy that is way too expensive in terms of effort and energy expenditure. And it is not that successful either. Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton have taken a giant step forward by asking us to focus on our strengths as our lead into excellence and success.

Eventually, in every coaching relationship there comes a time when the client has to claim their natural talents and recognize how she has turned them into strengths. Getting to know yourself through your strengths is liberating and fun. Leading with your strengths will give you the edge every time and is a way to have your life be naturally joyous and friction free.

Now Discover Your Strengths is great book to read. It also contains an ID code that will allow you to go online and take the StrengthsFinder Profile that will highlight the 5 areas where you have the greatest potential for a strength.

Here is an updated version of the book that you need to buy before you can take the assessment. New York Times Bestseller. Certainly worth the investment. When you find out what your 5 Signature Talents are, come work with me and let’s develop those talents into strengths.

Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman

Designed for every day reading – not just academic work – Seligman takes you through the fascinating emergence of the study of positive psychology and the science of happiness. For example: if you never really feel bubbly joyful your happiness about the present may be found in gratification.

This book introduces you to all the nuance of past, present and future happiness, tells you how to become happy if you are not and how to expand your happiness if you are. Lots of great exercises – easy to do.

Happiness can’t be bought but it certainly can be chosen.

The Well Rested Woman, by Janet Kinosian

Get enough sleep and a regular wake–sleep time.

At least fifty percent of the adult population is chronically sleep deprived. This can be especially true for women. If you have children and are the primary caretaker you can lose up to 700 hours of sleep in the first year of your baby’s life. And hormonal havoc seems to play a big role in women’s lack of sleep. 63% of women as compared to 54% of men suffer from some from of insomnia. Women are more likely to have difficulty falling asleep, to wake frequently during the night, to have trouble falling back to sleep, to wake too early in the morning and to wake up feeling unrested.

The potential for peak performance is provided every morning by having gotten all the restful, rejuvenating sleep you require the night before. You can condition yourself to wake up after four, five or six hours but the cost to you in performance and dynamic activity is great. The brain is very active during the night while you are asleep preparing the mind and body for peak performance.

You can be in control of your own dynamic activity by knowing what is required for peak performance sleep and meeting your own individual sleep requirements. Get up and go to bed at the same time every day and aim for 8-10 hours of high quality sleep each night.

A wonderful book by Janet Kinosian, The Well Rested Woman, lays to rest the notion that the less you sleep the better person you are. She points out that Albert Einstein sleep nine hours a night and was still able to get plenty done. "There is nothing particularly brilliant about denying your biology" says Janet.
Take a serious step toward creating more control in your life and having the life you want by getting enough sleep and a regular wake sleep schedule.

The Power of Intention by Wayne Dryer

It's about living at higher energy frequencies. These higher energy frequencies are faster, cleaner, more effective and efficient sources of energy. They are more easily and closely connected to their ultimate source of power and energy. These faster, cleaner sources of energy always entrain lower, denser energies. Lower energies move slower and have a greater drag and resistance to them. Higher energy frequencies create more personal productive capacity and lower energies constrict your personal productive energy.

Visioning: ten steps to designing the life of your dreams, by Lucia Capacchione

Designing your own life… sometimes when you think about doing designing your own life it may seem too hard, too much work, too boring and you don’t even know what you want anyhow. There is a wonderful process called Visioning designed by Lucia Capacchione that urges you to get in contact with the beliefs and desires of your heart. It is fun, creative and just really enjoyable.

Visioning is a ten step creative process for producing collages that portray the wishes and images of your heart. The process is more than just pasting some pictures together and waiting for the images to appear in reality. It is a truly internal process that takes you on an exciting and blissful adventure through your unconscious to your conscious self. It is a blast! You will look forward to your collage sessions and the creative stirrings will call to you to continue your journey.

If you are stuck or not sure about what you want in your life or just find the whole process of life design too much work consider Visioning. Get a hold of Lucia Capacchione’s book Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams.
And call me … some personal coaching might be just what you need - or you might be interested in joining A Vision Quest for Women.

The Emotional Energy Factor by Mira Kirshenbaum

Lack of emotional energy is what people experiences when they feel as if they are languishing – not feeling depressed or sick just feeling a bit lifeless and down. Languishing is the opposite of flourishing. If you want to flourish you have to manage your physical, emotional and mental energies so that they feed and nourish you.

Mira Kirshenbaum (the author of the wonderful book, The Gift of a Year) gives you some wonderful and insightful tips to increasing your emotional energy in her book The Emotional Energy Factor: The Secrets High Energy People Use to Beat Emotional Fatigue.

Mira says that " the single biggest difference between people who get what they want and people who don’t is energy". To feel energetic you need to have both physical energy and emotional energy.

This is a nice book to help you pinpoint where your emotional energy drains are and how to plug them up so that you recycle that energy to where you WANT it to go.

Work Less, Make More, by Jennifer White

In our world today, with it’s hectic pace and overwhelming demands on our time, energy and resources we all simply have too many things to do.

And we can not do them all!

Our tempo is too rapid and this allows us to be susceptible to "hurry sickness".

Symptoms of hurry sickness include multi-tasking, a constant feeling of time urgency, and a feeling of always being behind and never having enough time to get anything done. Those who have hurry sickness constantly feel on the edge, jumpy, rushed, pressured, worried, competitive, angry, defensive, controlling, cynical, hostile, caught up in tomorrow and compulsively driven.

As a culture, we have decided to cure this by multi-tasking and we expect the mind, body and emotions to shift constantly even though physiologically we can only pay attention to one thing at a time.

Multi-tasking is inefficient. It does not allow you to focus and build momentum as you are constantly straining your attention. Multi-tasking leaves us with the sense that we are never getting to where we want to go and that we have little or no control over our lives.

A calm, optimistic and relaxed person does not lose their edge and weaken their performance by fighting time and being controlled by time. They do not allow mechanical time to grab hold of their attention and grind up their performance.

In her book, Work Less, Make More, Jennifer White offers a simple and effective system for organizing your time to leverage focus and build momentum.

By dividing your tasks into 3 separate categories and focusing on only one category for an entire day you will work less and get more done and regain a sense of control in your life.

On Support Days you will be doing all tasks that support your current lifestyle. Support activities include such things as cleaning and organizing, returning phone calls, attending meetings, running errands.

Laser Days focus on tasks that if you spent 80% of your time on you would be living and working the life of your dreams. Laser tasks include such things as writing brochures, developing new programs to attract new clients, and going to see that nutritionist who will set up your new healthy diet.

Free Days can soon become the love of your life. On these days you get to do what ever you want that nourishes and regenerates you. These are real days off! No quick phone calls to clients; no "it will just take a minute – that turns into an hour- to check your e-mail. But real days off where you fall in love all over again with yourself, your life and your possibilities. Without rest there can be no creative process. And without creativity you grow old and stale too fast.

Take a peak at the book Work Less, Make More. Learn to time shift and keep your attention on the possibilities of the moment. And give me a call for a complementary coaching session to see how you can get more control over you life by instituting this technique and others that prepare the way for your best performance.

 My Favorite Heart Healthy Books.

Learn to listen to your heart. Tap the wisdom and power of your heart. New findings about cellular memories and their role in the mind/body/spirit connection.

 The Roaring of the Sacred River, by Steven Foster and Meredith Little

Discover the rich tradition of ceremony surrounding the Native American Vision Quest. A guide to wilderness fasting as the heroic ritual of self discovery in which you confront your fears and embrace your dreams.

Offers a contextual understanding compatible with my Vision Quest for Women which is specially designed to be manageable within your normal routine.

You might think this is a children's book for Easter, and I suppose it is. But when I first read it to my firstborn it was a transformational experience for me. Find out how to be a stay at home mom and still have a full life. I've worn out several copies and my daughters have permanently borrowed a few.

The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto

Take home message is "Water Understands the Information in Your Words and Actions". Water responds to words that contain positive supportive information (e.g. "Thank you" "Happiness" and prayers for well being) by forming integrated, beautifully formed crystals. When exposed to words that carry negative information (e.g. "hate" "You fool") water is not able to form crystals or forms disfigured crystals. The most beautiful crystals water formed were in response to the words "love and gratitude".

The human body is 70% water and perhaps we also need to be exposed to good information in order to form beautiful, well formed crystals.

Following Through: a Revolutionary New Method for Finishing Whatever You Start, by Steve Levinson and Pete Greider

This book outlines several amazingly effective follow through strategies. My favorite is called "Leading the Horse to Water". As Levinson and Greider explain it - you can’t make a horse drink water if he is not thirsty. But put the horse where the water is and he is more likely to drink it.

Here is how I use the strategy: I have made a resolution to walk every day. Many days I just don’t feel like it or there are more important things I could be doing. On those days I make a deal with myself that I don’t have to walk if I don’t want to - but I DO have to put on my walking shoes. Strangely, once I get my walking shoes on I have no problem following through with the walk.

 

The Portion Teller by Lisa Young

Another weight loss book – some good weight loss stuff and some not so good weight loss stuff (IMHO). Two great things about this book the make it note worthy:

1. It does not recommend counting calories and there are no forbidden foods
2. It really does teach you how to estimate all kinds of portion and serving sizes.

Young believes that the "super sizing" of our food portions contributes heavily to our increasing weight problem and shows you how to size up your servings by comparing them to simple every day objects. Good to know!

Menopause Section

If you are peri-menopausal or in menopause get yourself a book on the natural approach to menopause that outlines some of the changes that you can make to help ease your transition. The more lifestyle, nutritional, personal development changes that you make the less you will need to rely on any medical intervention. Here are some suggestions for books:

The Okinawa Program: How the World's Longest-Lived People Achieve Everlasting Health--And How You Can Too

The Okinawan elders experience more longevity than those in most cultures in the world. Okinawan culture has a particular way of viewing time. They call it Okinawa time - where life unfolds at its own pace. Okinawans respect and live according to the natural rhythms of life all around them. Processes take time and there is no push to rush or hurry them so that they fit into mechanical time' s agenda.

In the Okinawa culture this is more than a subjective feeling. They live by brining the concept into objective reality. It is common place for starting and ending times of public, major events such as lectures, symposiums, parties, business meetings etc. to be delayed – "until the time is right" – until all comes together naturally in the most appropriate harmony. When that harmony is achieved the event begins and ends.

Transforming Stress by Doc Childre

"Many people make a career out of having the same insights over and over again but not really acting on them. Once you have emotional clarity, you are responsible for taking action. Following your heart is a two-part process. Part one is getting the insight or intelligence. Part two is anchoring and doing."

This is the greatest little book. A quick read and choked full of interesting information about the significance of the experience of appreciation and how it wonderfully heals minds, bodies, and souls. A complete how to book that has simple, amazingly effective exercises that teach you to leverage the power of appreciation and transform your experience of stress into a buffer system for heart health and well being.

The New Glucose Revolution by Jennie Brand-Miller, Thomas M.S. Wolever, Kaye Foster-Powell, Stephen Colagiuri

Confused about if carbohydrates are good or bad? Should you eat them? Should you shun them? Are good carbs complex carbohydrates? What about whole grains - are they always the good carb? Questions abound about carbohydrates these days. The Glycemic Index is a nutritional concept that has come to the forefront over the last couple of years to help sort out all the misinformation about the pros and cons of carbohydrates. Unfortunately, the concept of the glycemic index has taken a beating and can be itself a misunderstood and confusing concept.

In the The New Glucose Revolution you will find some of the best and clearest research telling you how to include carbohydrates in your diet in a way that is healthy, easy and makes sense. Take a radical new approach and get some comprehensive, useful nutritional information that will improve your health and well being.

The Force of Kindness by Sharon Salzberg.

This is a lovely and powerful book and CD. If you think that kindness is wimpy, overrated, and not worthy of the challenge, Sharon will walk you through the magnificence behind kindness. As you cultivate the force of kindness, you will experience its ability to anchor you in the rhythms of life and reconnect you to the intimacy of your universal connection. Kindness – like all positive emotions - offers you a natural escalator out of the downward spiral of negativity and meanness into the upward, energy and life-giving spiral of happiness.

Feeling Good is Good for You by Carl J. Charnetski and Francis X. Brennan

Laughter, pleasure, good times, positive attitude and emotions are good for you. Pleasure can boost your immune response and lengthen your life. This book outlines the good news about fun and feeling better and offers you convincing evidence that hopelessness and helplessness are not good for the body.

• One of their prescriptions for boosting your immune system:
• Hang around people who are humorous.
• Hang around people who are optimists.
• Hang around people who are active.
• Hang around people who are highly motivated.

Getting healthy does not have to be nothing but hard work. It could be the time of your life.

The Relationship Cure by John Gottman

Truthfully, relationship therapy is not that successful, but John Gottman stands out as one researcher who knows what he's talking about. And he takes a positive approach to building satisfying relationships. This is not light reading – and you have to be prepared to really work at changing yourself if you want to change your relationships.

But, if yoy are ready, The Relationship Cure takes you step by step in developing mindfulness in establishing emotional connections. By learning to notice and celebrate those moments when someone is making an "emotional bid" for connection, you can become skilled in taking an active role in developing more meaningful and stable relationships.

Ripe: the truth about getting older and the beauty of getting on with your life. By Janet Champ and Charlotte Moore

Every seven and one-half seconds another woman completes her perimenopausal passage and enters menopause. You can expect lots of books, media attention, etc to keep bringing this transition into focus. Ripe is a nice book. It is not full of health and scientific details. Rather it focuses on the generic story of the passage into your new second life after menopause. Provocative prose, captivating illustration s and photographs – a reassuring scenic journey that lures you into accepting and embracing aging – yikes! Yes, aging - and how this process is being lived by the 60 million American women who are redefining the aging process. Everyone will eventually age. It will be more fun if done through the lens of awareness rather than fighting and resisting.

Dialogue: the art of thinking together by William Isaacs

I discovered this book in my Organizational Development days of my Psychology Masters. Admittedly, the book is a little dense because it is aimed at the academic and corporate culture. But, if you want to catch a glimpse of the amazing possibility of truly connecting with some one else through listening and speaking, this book will take you through an incredible journey.

An excerpt from my organizational development paper on dialogue:
"I have always been intrigued by this whole idea of being able to access a greater intelligence. You know, something beyond everyday management of details and conveying of information. David Bohm refers to dialogue as the opportunity that occurs when a 'group becomes open to the flow of a larger intelligence.' In true dialogue, as opposed to discussions that are aimed at proving one’s point of view, we can have access to that flow of intelligence where we are more intelligent, more insightful, more creative, more discovery oriented collectively than we can ever hope to be individually. It has been a dream of mine to participate in, experience a free flow of meaning between others and me, and develop sensitivity to the subtitles of thought that can only be gained from participation in the collective nature of thinking. The very idea of it sends chills up and down my spine."

If the idea of accessing that greater flow of intelligence sends chills up your spine, this book by William Isaacs will help give you a roadmap into the land of "thinking together."

Ask and it is given: learning to manifest your desires. by Esther and Jerry Hicks

I avoided this book for a long time. Although I love reading about manifestation and the different takes on how it works, I am not a big fan of channeled work, which this purports to be. Most of the time channeled work seems a bit too far outside the realm of usefulness in this reality. Not so with this book. It is an absolutely practical guide. Its main message is to learn how to get yourself to feel good. Their take home message is "Always reach for the better feeling."

That nicely matches up with my main message to better manage your moods and energy and you will be happier, healthier, more successfully and enjoy a more fulfilling life. And it is convenient that this message matches up with the trend setting work of positive psychology, the aim and focus of personal coaching, the conclusions of the "new physics" research, and the research on the message of water crystals.

Wow! How many different ways does it need to be said? Feel good.

This is the most important work you can do for yourself, for those around you and for impacting the world. Find the ways that help you feel good and joyful in this life. Ask and it is given provides some simple, fun ways to increase your good feelings.

More great books recommended in my ezine:

Links

Robertson Research Institute - Home of the Brain Chemistry Optimization Profile, which I use, and the Behavioral Medicine Self Care Program

The HeartMath store. Decoding intelligence of the heart. "A change of heart changes everything" Stress Management. Interactive stress relief software for your computer.

Authentic Happiness Some of the resources available :

• The VIA Signature Strengths Survey and 17 more happiness questionnaires
• Share the highest moments in your life
• Authentic Happiness research newsletter archives
• Information about happiness and the 24 character strengths

Take Back Your Time - a non-partisan initiative to challenge the epidemic of overwork, over-scheduling and time famine that threatens our health, our families and relationships, our communities and our environment. Evenstar was a sponsor for TIME TO CARE, Take Back Your Time North American Conference, Seattle University, Seattle, Washington, August 4-7, 2005

Directory Listing On Alternative Medicine
Alternative medicine listing in the US

Herbalists Charter of Henry the VIII. Under the General Laws of the Colonies taken over by the USA, these rights are still in force in the original thirteen states, and have never been repealed.

Gather the Women Global Matrix (GTW) is a global community of women committed to practicing compassionate and collaborative use of their personal power – a place to explore the new frontier of feminine leadership.

FitDay.Com Sign-up for your free web account and join the FitDay members who are tracking their foods, exercises, weight loss, and goals online.

Health Whisperer continually strives to give you the most up to date information available on health and fitness for you and your pet.

Whole Foods Market - The world’s largest health food store chain. My favorite place to shop - and not just because 3 of my children work there.

Motherstuff - Links to everything health related for women and especially (you know it already) mothers.

Cool Nurse - Honest health information for today's teen and young adult.

Celestial Healing Arts - Psychic Intuitive LaVaughn presents tools of transformation, healing, and life mastery: psychic readings, aromatic ritual kits, bookstore, tarot gallery, informative articles and more. Delight your senses, expand your mind, and nourish your spirit.

Reality Creator Books & On Line Library - Be A Reality Creator!

Wise Woman Birthways™ offers holistic perinatal support services to families in Northern New Jersey, with offices in Montclair and Rutherford. Holistic Childbirth Preparation (based on Birthing from Within), Doula Services, Perinatal Yoga & Shiatsu, Breastfeeding Classes, New Parent Initiation Classes, New Mom & Baby Circles, Shamanism, Reiki & More!

Gail Adrian Fragranceur® Spiritual Perfumery and Natural Wonders

Ener-G.Com - Who says restrictive diets have to be boring? Online ordering.

Pamela's Products - All natural wheat and gluten free goodies. "Indulge with confidence".

Life Coaching Resource - How to start your own life coaching, or business coaching business. Also tips from a certified life coach on improving your life and business.

HappyNews.Com is a web based news coverage organization that focuses on real news and compelling stories that are always positive. They believe that virtue, goodwill and heroism are hot news and they bring you up to the minute stories that are geared to lift your spirits and inspire your life. If you want to stay in touch with the world news but are tired of depressing,unhappy news being in the spotlight then check it out.

Go Gratitude is a worldwide experiment using the power of Gratitude to open the doors of possibility through focused attention, unique insight and use of a Master Key. Their goal is to get one million people to connect and recognize the power of collective focus and shared experience. They are also introducing a series of messages, "42 days of Knew (sic) Views on Gratitude." Delivered daily, via email, these messages will inspire, enlighten, and all together bend your brain. Give yourself the gift of gratitude at http://www.gogratitude.com/

Conscious Greetings is home to inspiring e-cards on the web. Each greeting features a beautiful, meditative Flash animation, soothing music and a heart felt thought for you to share with your friends and loved ones. You can send free animated greetings from a set of eight beautiful images. You can send the same image to up to 10 friends and family at once and add your personal message.

Close Relationships Questionnaire
To find out and understand your style of loving and being loved, take this reliable ten minute questionnaire by Chris Fraley and Phil Shaver found at www.authentichappiness.org. This test captures three styles of loving and being loved in adults: secure, avoidant, and anxious. "By almost every criterion, securely attached people and secure romantic relationships do better."

Spiritual Cinema Circle - The Spiritual Cinema Circle is a DVD subscription service for a new genre of films that inspire and uplift the human spirit. . Ninety-five percent of these films are unavailable elsewhere and many have won multiple film festival awards. Members are encouraged to share the DVDs with family and friends in an effort to spread the inspiration of spiritual cinema. Spiritual Cinema Circle was started by Stephen Simon, producer of more than twenty films including, "What Dreams May Come" (with Robin Williams), and "Somewhere in Time" (with Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour) in 2004.

The Remembering Site - Sharing our collective memories/ a non-profit initiative. Not everyone is able to leave money, jewelry, or land as an inheritance to their children’s children. Each of us though, can leave the most precious commodity of all – family treasures made of words. The Remembering Site enables anyone, anywhere, to write their life story and add to it as life unfolds. The Remembering Site has been designed to make this as easy as possible.

Fair Trade - "Fair Trade is an innovative, market-based approach to sustainable development." Buying Fair Trade products means that you are buying excellent products that support struggling workers- mostly artisans and farmers - around the globe. Fair Trade companies give family business in developing countries access to international markets and guarantee them a fair and adequate wage. Buying and using fair trade products helps contribute to high family living standards, thriving communities and more sustainable farming practices.

To purchase Fair Trade products look for the "fair trade certified" seal on products such as coffee, tea, rice, sugar and fruit. To get a listing of Fair trade companies go to www.transfairusa.org or www.fairtradefederation.com.

Good News Garage - a great example of Neighbors Helping Neighbors. They want to keep people financially independent by matching donated cars, vans and trucks with qualified low income individuals and families who need them.

Every time you get in your car imagine what it would be like if you had two or three children and no car. How would you be able to do what you have to do without your car? If public transportation is not available (as in most rural areas) how would you get to the grocery store? The doctor? How would you get to work? Take the kids to school or day care? What would happen to your life if suddenly your means of transportation vanished?

GNG maintains a list of about 100 similar sister organizations throughout the country. If you are interested in contacting one of these organizations you can contact call 877-GIVE AUTO (488-3288) and ask for a program in your state.

I was so impressed I wrote an article for HappyNews.com   Your Old Car May Help End Poverty

The Terma Foundation is a nonsectarian humanitarian organization whose creative programs combine indigenous and western knowledge to confront the enormous health crisis now affecting the six million Tibetans within China. Tibet is one of the few remaining ancient, nonviolent civilizations. Its future—its children and its culture—affects our global community.

One million Tibetan children are at risk of dying from disease and malnutrition. Their deaths are preventable. You can help.

Founded in 1993 as the Tibet Child Nutrition Project (TCNP), the Terma Foundation now implements public health programs including nutrition, education, primary and preventive health care, acknowledging traditional belief systems, and integrating low-tech, low-cost western technology where appropriate.

Terma's work in the TAR and adjacent ethnic Tibetan areas of the People's Republic of China is carried out by a multidisciplinary coalition of Tibetans, Chinese, and westerners in successful cooperation with PRC nationals and local health authorities.To learn more about Terma visit their website at www.terma.org.

The National Farm to School Project
This organization supports local farmers who practice sustainable agriculture and works to improve children’s nutritional status by bringing local produce into school cafeterias. They seek to educate school children about nutrition, farm systems and environmental issues.

Farm to school programs bring healthier food to children in school and reduce consumption of snack and junk food. These programs also make both the children and the farmers part of the nutritional education process. Farm to School programs work to get healthier meals served in school cafetarias, improve student nutrition, provide health and nutrition education that will last a lifetime, and suppport local small farmers. Find out more and how you can get involved and bring Farm to School programs to your school at www.farmtoschool.org

Rosie’s House is a not for profit organization that provides under-served youth of greater Phoenix with the gift of music, enhancing their daily lives by providing direction, stability and tools for future success.

Founded in 1996, Rosie’s House is a tuition free music academy for children, ages 5 to 18. Rosie’s House is the only place (to the best of their knowledge) in the United States that offers a full range of music lessons, (including instruments), at no cost to under-served youth. "Many public schools do not offer music programs and none offer specialized music classes such as violin, viola and cello. We provide these opportunities to as many children as we can afford to serve."

Your donation brings the gift of music to children who might otherwise never have the opportunity to receive private and group lessons, to have an instrument to call their own, and to benefit from classical training. Rosie's House welcomes donations in any amount.

Zone Diet Meal Delivery: Recipes are analyzed by our staff dietitian for nutritional content. Portions are geared to your nutritional requirements, based on healthy dietary recommendations.

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